I can’t sleep tonight. Anyone that knows me knows I don’t have any problems falling asleep. Seriously, I can get into bed and be asleep in a minute or two! So what’s my problem tonight? I’m thinking!
I am a thinker. I wonder about stuff and just go over things in my head. Sometimes that is good, sometimes it’s not, but it is what it is.
Something happened today, or really I should say I found out something today and it bothered me. As I have been thinking about it off and on for hours, I realize it is such a small thing it really doesn't matter. The thing is important to me… to others probably not at all. It doesn't really matter what the thing was, it’s just something that made me question things in my life. It wasn't actually the thing I found out, but more of what it made me question.
I have questioned things that have taken place in my life, decisions I have made, and what it all means.
And as I was sitting thinking at 12:30 in the morning, I looked up some thoughts about frustration and of the 5 points I thought the first two were good, but the others didn't really apply, but it got me thinking that really God is the only one that can carry us through the difficult or frustrating times in life. Think as I might… I won’t ever have the answers to the questions that are going through my mind and I realized that it didn't really matter.
Isaiah 26:3 Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. This verse went through my head and honestly, I am so glad that I have God’s word to run through with all the other thoughts that are running around in there.
I believe there is a decision to be made. I can let these thoughts ruin my thinking and see what I (and others) have done as useless, worthless, not enough, or any number of negative things… some of which could be true and stay stuck. OR I could take what’s before me and realize that some of it could be negative but that I can choose to use that to move forward rather than let it hold me back.
I have some “wounds” that need to heal and I don’t know how long that will take, but I also know that during this time of uncertainty and frustration I can pick God and once again,
God is NEVER a wrong choice!
It isn't always easy right now to see the good, but I know that God is still good. That, right there, is enough to give peace when things aren't as peaceful as I would like.