Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith The Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil to give you an expected end.
I have loved that verse for years but I can't really say when I started saying it to myself. I think I really needed to believe in this world full of struggles and hurts there was One that had good thoughts toward me all the time.
At times I have been very confused by this verse thinking the things I am going through don't seem to be very peaceful. We each think we have the answer to having peace...if I only had this job, spouse, house, car... Fill in the blank. But I realized a long time ago that if each one of us "had peace" our way, we would each get our way for that moment and then change our minds and then really we wouldn't have peace at all.
It is a loving God that can see what needs to be done to make the whole place "peaceful". I think our idea of peace is different than God's; we want it to be peace for us not the good of the whole.
I don't pretend to be a Bible or God expert. In fact, I have been in church since 2002. I really don't know all that much. Nor do I like or want to get into debates about it. I believe God can use anyone. And I mean anyone, anyone what wants to be used for Him.
So, why am I writing this? I love to write. I love to dwell on the "why" and "how" things I go through work out. I find that writing makes me think about God more.
Sometimes, I just get angry. Sometimes, I get sad. Sometimes, I get convicted. And sometimes, I have peace.
I don't think I have "it" all together. Far from that. I struggle each day to see God and how he is working.
I am selfish, stubborn, slow-learning and just plain sinful. But in all that, I KNOW I have a God that isn't giving up on me and has thoughts that have an "expected end".
I am writing for me and my friend(s). I am going to write from my heart what I am experiencing in life whether it is looking good to me or not.
I have found that I grow most after the struggle. My most recent one was a long one and I seriously didn't thinks was going to make it. I cried. I blamed others. I gave up to a degree. I stomped my foot. But I still held on to God, as feeble as it was, because it was the only thing I KNEW that was going to work out.
So that's it. I am not someone special with boatloads of information but rather someone who walks through this world trying to become more like God by seeing things His way and having my thoughts lined up with his.