Recently, I have been feeling close to God even though there have been things going on around me that are unsettling. That is a wonderful feeling. This past week has been different. As you can tell I haven't posted. I kept asking God to let me know what he wanted said and I haven't "heard" anything. A friend told me I need to post, two friends actually.
But I had nothing.
Even yesterday during my morning time with God I had such a hard time focusing on the words, it was distracting me from focusing on the Word…doesn't that sound ridiculous! Then at church yesterday, I was a little distracted so I was only half listening. And then the pastor said something which kicked my brain in gear and I was pondering where I am at spiritually. That isn't a bad thing, but probably not the best thing during a sermon!!!
I think I walk through the valley because I expect the time I have been with God to last longer and it will be "okay" to skip the schedule time because I sincerely plan to do it later. It just doesn't really happen for me
Today I woke up with the song, "He's Been Waiting by the Well" going through my head; it has been for about two days. And this morning it hit me. I haven't been with God enough to satisfy MY needs, let alone say anything to help another! I noticed "the Well", I thought about Him, but I didn't put him first.
I am "off" and wondering what is wrong and thinking it to death…. but, this “valley” I am in doesn't need to be analyzed to death.
I need to remember:
-what I really need and get that done.
-my flesh is saying it’s better for me to do anything rather than be with God.
-I am not totally off track and nothing is wrong with me (a hard habit to break!).
-the filling I get from God doesn't last as long as I think.
What I need is to get back to putting God first.
I just need more time with God!
He is waiting for me to choose to be with Him... waiting at the well for me to be thirsty enough to choose Him.